Thursday, December 13, 2007

10 Things I learned in Tanaris

From the journal of Pathos, which is currently being written on the back of a pirate hat:

1. Never try to steal some water from the spring fields. There's some kind of membership due to be able to drink that stuff, and when you approach without a member's ID, the locals get really hostile. Note to self: look into membership, they were all pretty lean and tan.

2. Squid is a food. I was trying to catch a pile of floating debris when I reeled in a big purple tentacled mess, which I quickly beat into submission with my staff. The cook in Steamwheedle Port said it would actually taste good fried up with some seasoning. I wasn't a huge fan, but it put some extra spring into Rasaiel's step, so I gave the leftovers to her to have later.

3. Ogres + 90 degree weather + 0% humidity + obesity = don't take any cloth they might have had on them. You don't want to know what it's been used for. I don't care if I could "boil it and make it into bandages, silly", I'll stick to open-air wound healing if that's my only alternative.

4. They're called "dew" collectors, regardless of how the goblin pronounced it. Also, even though they collect shiny morning cactus droplets, that doesn't make them any less of a bad-ass elemental pile of pain.

5. Just because the hyenas are laughing doesn't make them friendly. Note to self: keep taking those purification potions until the bites heal, someone mentioned rabies.

6. And you thought the bugs were big in the Wetlands!

7. Pirates are decent interior decorators, and love collecting portraits. If I ever visit that nice camp town again, I'll be sure to bring the painting of my dad to add to their collection. And they have plenty of hats. TOO many hats. I think one of the doors in their moored ship just said "hats" on it.

8. There's thorium here. It's bright blue, sticks out of the ground, and is not in fact a "giant Otter Pop." Note to self: bring more water next time I venture that far south. Hallucinations are embarrassing.

9. Wear. Sunscreen.

10. Plan the next vacation somewhere nicer. Winterspring perhaps.


Dammerung said...

Woo! A post!

Bring water? Kaykay!

ALWAYSLOOTTHECLOTH! If its that bad make the demon carry it!

Ooo that gave me an idea!

/runs off to plot.

Pathos said...


Root canal = low impetus to post anything that doesn't involve taking pain medication and zombifying your day.

Definite slowdown in posts coming up in the holidays, there'll easily be silence from the 21st to the new year.

Kestrel said...

Great article! I'm so tempted to do that for the Outland zones...

Gotta agree with the orc, though: Keep that cloth, and have the demon carry it.

Beowulfa said...

Funny! And I second what Dammy said:

Woo! A post!